Thursday, January 31, 2008
Monday, March 12, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Friday, March 9, 2007
Tuesday, March 6, 2007
It's crazy how much life can change in such a short time period. One day you are thinking about love, family, and your future and the next you're wondering how you will survive. I look at this picture with so much regret. Although I look calm and collected, I was wondering what my life would be like and was there any chance that our marriage would make it. Well, it didn't take very long to figure out that we wouldn't and leave me more confused and hurt than I've ever been in my whole life. I never really knew how much pain goes along with divorce. How could I? No one in my family had ever been through it. Everyone said it was a good thing we didn't have kids, and I'm sure it was, but that didn't seem to make it any easier. How long do you wait before you give up on someone? And when you do, will you ever find anyone that will love you again? I'm always envious of people that say they live without regrets and I really wish I knew how to do this. How do you put your past behind you? I'm afraid that my past has ruined my current relationship and I don't know how to fix it or what to do about it. I'm tired of feeling out of control and desperately wish that life came directions and a fairy God mother that granted you three wishes.
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Walking down the street the other day, I saw this car and had to take a picture. I seriously would like to have the confidence of this car. My greatest weakness is my lack of confidence. Because of this I know that I’ve missed out on many opportunities because I was too afraid to try. This year I'm putting my confidence in God and hope that he will make a better use of my life for me than what I’ve made of it so far.
A few areas I would like to work on are my confidence in my work, my appearance, and my ability to share Christ with others. I know that my biggest critic is myself. I listen too much to comments that other people make or don’t make and then my imagination and emotions run wild with them. I need to stop trying to please other people and concentrate on making God happy and I believe this will make everything else will fall back in place.
I’ve recently come to the conclusion that all my confidence has come from relationships that I’ve been in. My whole life I’ve gone from one relationship to the next searching for someone to make me happy. Realizing this is a crazy way to live, I’m going to try being on my own for a while. I think it will give me time to grow and heal. No relationship will ever have meaning if I don’t value myself.
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Looking down over this valley today, I realized my life problems aren't as big as I make them out to be. Recently I've filled my life with busyness to quiet down the cries from my broken heart. Today my heart felt warm and full of life as I soaked in the sun on the top of a mountain. Last year was full of hurts, pains and disappointments. This picture represents me getting through tough times and moving on.
I'm thankful that God gives us second chances. I'm thankful for life, family and good friends. I'm thankful that you get more than one chance at love and I pray that next time it won't be anything like the last. I'm thankful now more than ever for good health. I pray for my Dad and hope that one day soon he will be free from addictions and pain. I'm thankful for my mom. I believe she was a gift from God. Without her I know I would not be the person I am today. She always wanted the best for me even when I didn't want it for myself. I'm thankful for the continued support and encouragement I receive from my parents. I'm learning more and more that this is rare and how blessed I am to have both of them in my life. I'm thankful for my brother and his wife who accepted me with open arms. They will always have a special place in my heart. At a time when I felt I had nothing, they made me feel special and loved. I don't think they will ever know how much I appreciate them. I'm thankful for the people that God has put in my life that encourage me and pray for me. I'm reminded of my favorite childhood song "He's still working on me," and I'm thankful when other people see this and forgive me for my mistakes and faults. I'm far from perfect, but always try to keep an open and humble heart that is willing to make changes. I'm thankful for the trials in my life because although they've left scars they have made me stronger. But most of all, I'm thankful that God forgives me and accepts me each time I come running back. I pray that this year will be different and God will show me my purpose in life and that I will be obedient to him.